We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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