I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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