How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
