You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
