I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My penis needs a shock collar
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
