the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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