mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
