this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
