My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
