i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
