im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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