Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
