After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize