apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
