In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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