Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
