watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
