If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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