Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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