So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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