so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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