its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
