I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's just like the Real World with babies
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
