I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
