Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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