omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
