do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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