Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
