I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize