I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He has the fingertips of a God
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