I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
