Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
