I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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