Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
