I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
