what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize