the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
