Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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