Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize