So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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