My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
