Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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