Cold hands, warm shart.
i permit you to call me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
