i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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