so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
