I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
