I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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