Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
