Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
