Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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