Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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