I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize