we have pet lesbian snakes
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I checked into jail on foursquare
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.