I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics