She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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