i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
