i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
