So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
