sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So vagazzling was a success
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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