That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
