Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize