call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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