once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh god it's open bar.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
