Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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