it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
