Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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